I am a Dreamer

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I am a dreamer. I love the fact that there are endless possibilities to anything.
Seriously.

Think about it, in your life today, you have the option (which is a gift in it’s self) to do whatever you want. You want to be a doctor, go be a doctor. You want to write a song, you write the crap out of that song. You want to be a stay at home Mum, DO IT. You can be anything, you can do anything!

I never thought I would be a stay at home Mum. To be honest, I fought it for a long while. I went back to work and I was miserable. But I didn’t want to be a clique. I didn’t want to be defined as a Mother and a wife. I was scared that if I stayed home, I would disappear. I was scared my tombstone would read, Mother, wife and that’s it.

Something magical happened when I embraced being a stay at home Mum. I started to dream bigger. I found passion, bigger dreams, opportunities that worked better for my family and I. I started dreaming up projects that I never let myself dream, and then I started making those dreams a reality!

When someone asks me, “So what do you do?” a question I always dreaded, I hoped no one would ask me. I would sink low, whisper my response. I now answer, “I am a stay at home Mum of two energetic, goofy, loving, caring kids.” I say it standing up straight, with a smile and I say it proud! I practically yell it!

No, it’s not easy and the pay is weird. Did you know that I get paid in hugs and kisses and my bonus are the amazing moments you only get once in a lifetime! No, that doesn’t pay the bills, but it feeds my soul – which in my book is just as important.

Becoming a stay at home Mum, I was TERRIFIED that my kids would grow up and think, “Mum took the easy way out. She didn’t get a job. She has no passion, no drive. All she did was stay home and take care of us!” Oh yes, I have thought these words, many times. I was so scared of this happening that I tried to ignore it. (That’s what I do when I’m scared, I ignore it and deal with it when it’s really big and scary). Silly right! I told my husband that this is what I feared. He looked at me with his look of, “Are you serious?!” I’ve come to recognise this look over the years. He was shocked that I would think this. He then proceeds to tell me how he saw me. I had no idea. To him and the kids, I am super women. No one could do what I do, the way I do it. I cried with relief and joy.

I called my Mum and shared my fears and concerns with her. Worried my kids would think that I was lazy, didn’t bother with a job, I would be a crap role model because I didn’t have a traditional job. There was silence on the other end of the phone. I thought her phone had died.
“Is that what you think of me?”
BAM! A tonne of bricks hit me.
“WHAT!! No, not at all. It never crossed my mind. You were always there for me. I wanted to be you.”

Sometimes you just need your Mum to put things directly under the spotlight.

When you allow yourself to be open to the situation you find yourself in, amazing things happen. If I were still working as a project coordinator, I wouldn’t have time to be with my kids, run an Arbonne business, start up a group for women to come together and empower one another (Women Inspired Group), blog, be truly be present to see how amazing my family really is. I wouldn’t be dreaming up trips to take with my kids, trips wit my husband! Hell, I get to travel to Las Vegas this year with my girlfriends – never done that before. And my house would be a complete chaos.

I made a choice to really look at my life and start making little changes and being positive about it. You write your own story.

I am not saying that I am a ray of sunshine every day, but for a few moments each and every day, I am happy! That is all I have ever wanted out of life – happiness.

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You don’t like your financial situation. Change it.
You don’t like your job? Find one that makes you happy!
Not happy with your relationship. Leave it.
You want to run a  marathon. DO IT!
You want to end world hunger. End it.
You’ve always wanted to learn a new language. What’s stopping you?

I love that I am a dreamer. I love that I have endless possibilities. I am forever a work in progress and I am OK with that. I believe that if I didn’t have my children to show me and teach me, I not be the person I am today. I don’t believe I would be happy, I would have lived the illusion of happiness.

I am a lot less scared that my kids will think that I took the ‘easy’ route by staying home with them. Now, if I said everything I do is for my kids, that would be fitting for here, however, vastly incorrect. I do a lot for my kids but I do a lot of it for me too. And I have learnt that is OK!

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