I some times forget that not everyone has the same goals as me, i don’t need to have the same goals as anyone else. I know it’s a silly to forget something like that but I do, I have to remind myself of that.
I have a competitive streak in me, It’s not always in play but when it is, oh man, is it ever.
Short little story here, it’s one of those stories I can laugh at … now. I was dating this guy and we were playing Monopoly with a couple other people. We hadn’t been together long, well not long enough to know we should NOT ever play board games together. We were quiet a ways into playing Monopoly (couple of hours) and we were pretty competitive and not in that cute flirty way either. We were competitive in the angry, sweaty, frothing at the mouth type way. It wasn’t pretty.
I started to yell how something wasn’t fair. He looked at me like, ‘I don’t have to take that from you’, and he stood up and started to yell back. I stormed away. Needless to say, we were over. I make a point of not playing Monopoly for the safety and sanity of others around me.
I told you that little story to show you, that yes, I do get competitive and yes, it can get ugly.
So when I set goals and someone has a similar, not the same, similar goal, I think that we’re in a competition. I need to beat the other person, weather they know it or not.
I am in a better place in my life than I once was, however, I can’t pour my whole self into a goal anymore. All I can do is reserve pieces of myself to certain goals. I can only do one or two goals at a time because I have such young children. I know that this is not a forever situation, my kids will grow and become independent and self sufficient…one day.
I am learning to make obtainable goals. ‘Obtainable’, this is a new word for me. I use to think everyone was obtainable to me and it still is, but I need to make goals and set them up sort of like stepping stones. I don’t have enough energy or time in a day to just got for it.
I signed up to do a 10K run. I wanted to get under an hour, however, looking at the big picture, how many weeks till the race and the time available for me to train, my goal was not obtainable. This was hard for me to swallow. At that point, seeing that I couldn’t do it the way I wanted to, I didn’t want to do it at all.
The universe had a different plan for me, the universe wanted me to do it. Period. I did and I got 1 hour and 10 minutes. I was extremely happy with that, I did it. I completed it. I was proud.
I struggle with setting goals now. I think it’s because I either set them too high or to low, I’m having problems finding the right challenging level. Finding a balance.
That’s the constant struggle, finding a balance between kids, family, household to do’s, business and personal time, to name a few, are, well it’s hard.
I don’t have it all figured out. When I master having the house and kids under control, I slack on fitness and personal time. When I take a moment to read a book, the house is in chaos. Then when the house is in chaos, I don’t do anything with my business.
I have never been good at juggling, maybe it’s time I figured out something else. Rather than juggling maybe I could learn how to breath fire or obtain a super power. Who knows how I will figure it all out, but I suppose that’s just part of life, not even parenting, just life… Going with the flow. Making obtainable goals.