The first few days when my husband is away, they are always the worst. The kids miss there Dad and in turn, act out a little. We then start to adjust to our secondary routine — yes we have two, one when Dad’s home and one when Dad’s away. The dog even has a new routine when Dad’s away. My daughter tries to see how far she can push me, what she can get away with – It isn’t much, but I have to give her credit for trying.
Life certainly changes when Dad’s away.
The first few days, my anxiety runs a little higher than usual because of ‘The Curse’. Oh yes, I have given it the name.
The first time ‘The Curse’ presented it’s nasty little head was about 5 years ago. My husband had just left for Hawaii, I always get a little envious, especially this time because it was snowing here. I didn’t think this was a fair trade off. I left work early because the roads were getting bad, by Victoria’s winter standards. There was a light dusting of snow on the road but the roads were icey
This dumb ass huge truck, with a trailer came rippin’ down the highway and hit ice. The truck hit 4 vehicles, 2 completely totalled, another one and me. No one was hurt but I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. My car was banged up, I was shaking but I was ok. I learnt what to do pretty fast.
Through out the years, ‘The Curse’ had challenged me. I’ve had my car broken into a few time. Rear ended. I’ve had ants invade my house, TWICE! Had to drive myself to the hospital. These are just a few things ‘The Curse’ has thrown at me over the years. All these situations, or lessons have taught me how to handle messed up, undesirable situations, teaching me to stay calm in, to clear the panic and/or fear away and to handle it.
Well sure enough, my husband went away and the first 24 hours, the kids and I stayed close to home. I figured we’d venture out the following day if all went well. No problems, YAY!
Sunday morning, I packed up the kids and off we went, we were going to spend the day at the lake. Splash in the water, get nice and tired, stay busy and have some fun. the universe had different plans for us.
Next thing I knew I was sitting on the side of the highway with my kids, and my car wouldn’t start. Now, I know absolutely nothing about cars. I know you put a key in the ignition and turn it, BAM! your car starts. Or so it should. We were on the side of a busy highway and my car wouldn’t start and the most frustrating thing was I had no idea why.
My sister came, as my daughter would say, ‘She saved us’. After my mild freak out, we got the kids to my parents and I went back (with some help) to figure out what was going on with my car. We had come to the conclusion that it needed to be towed, there was no way my car was going to start *sigh*
I was feeling so many things, and helpless was a big part of that. I didn’t know what had happened, I didn’t know if I had done the right things. I never know what to do in these situations. But I knew my kids were safe and not hurt. I knew that it could have been a lot worst.
I call this thing, ‘the Curse’, but really it’s the universe teaching me things, testing me if you will, making me stronger.
Yes, it TOTALLY sucks that my car is going to be in the shop for a little while. But I now know a lot more of what I am capable of and how to call a tow truck. I know that a minute can seem like an hour but regardless, time marches on and it will pass, I will get through it. Just have to hold on sometimes.
I wish my husband was there to help me but at the same time, I’m grateful that he wasn’t. Would I have learnt as much, no probably not. would I have reacted differently, most definitely. I think it’s important to know how to take care of your self and your family. I am a military wife, which means that there will be time, many times, when I have to know how to handle the unexpected. How to make sure I hold myself together and not loose it in front of the kids. I am learning and growing. I want to be a strong role model for my kids, like my Mum was/is for me. I think I am doing a pretty good job, thus far.
Yup, it’s a crap situation having your vehicle brake down, but I am going to chalk this up as a positive experience. No one was hurt. I am learning how to get by in an unplanned situation.
As I said earlier, I call it ‘The Curse’ but I’m starting to see it in a different way now, it’s more the helping hand, or a teacher, guiding me along my way. It’s the universes way of helping me along.