Being a Mum of two kids, under the age of 3, sometimes you don’t get to hear your own thoughts. You forget to drink water for 3 days and you can’t figure out why you feel like you’re shutting down. You sometimes even scream and no one hears you. You put your needs (showering, eating, sleeping, etc) aside so that your kids can have your attention. You don’t always take care of you and you wonder if anyone notices. Do they realize that I just spent 6 hours making these bubbles stations, and all these fun outdoor actives together? Do they realize that I only slept for 4 hours last night and I”m running on fumes? Do they realize that I need a break?
Sometimes you just wonder if anyone notices all that you do. Well I wonder no more, I am appreciated, I am loved and my family notices. They appreciate me so much that they are sending me away for some alone time. Yes, I have received a night away at a beautiful B&B for some quality alone time. At first, I was really wishing my husband had come with me. I wish he was there to get away as well, but then I realized, I needed to be alone and that he was OK with it. After all, it was he and the kids who surprised me with this gift of being alone.
I went and dropped off my bag at the B&B and then headed out to do… hmm what was I going to do? I had all of this time to do… what?! I wondered around for awhile, and then I realized that I was wondering around in circles. Yup, I may be a Mum but I have zero sense of direction. Once I realized I had passed the same coffee shop twice now, I started looking for someone where to eat lunch. Then I dined alone (that post will be coming for your entertainment soon).
Once I finished my lunch, I realized I didn’t have to rush anywhere, I didn’t need to feed anyone, I didn’t have to change a diaper or supervise anyone playing, what was I going to do. It took me awhile to just slow down and realize that I was suppose to be relaxing! I found a used bookstore and made myself comfortable in there for awhile. That in it’s self was something I have missed dearly, sitting among books. I love books. I love the smell of books. I love how I feel walking through the rows and shelfs of adventure and wonder. It was amazing. Found a couple gems and headed back to the B&B. I sat on the front lawn of the B&B and opened my book. The breeze brought the smell of the ocean right up to me. Realization was starting to settle in.
My room was ready early! Yippy! It was such a cute room, an excellent mix of vintage and modern. My view was amazing – the ocean. You see I am an island girl, the ocean runs through my veins. I think that if I ever had to live inland, I’d have a very hard time with it. I suppose I’d feel the opposite of closter phobic. I was still feeling restless, I tried watching a movie, but I kept flipped through the channels – see I don’t have cable and with cable comes these weird things call commercials… I’m not a fan of those. So I soaked, for an hour, in a big jet tub and OH MY GOODNESS! What a delightful treat that was. A nice hot soak – now I was relaxed.
After I spent the next while playing with my new art pens. I look up YouTube videos on different things that I could do with them. Then my stomach reminded me that I had to eat. Time flies by when you’re having fun.
One thing I have noticed about myself since becoming a Mum is that I always need to be doing something. I never sit still. When I’m watching a movie, I am knitting, painting or flipping through Pintrest. I’m not sitting and fully watching a movie. I think that’s because with my kids, one always needs something, or wants to play, so I am always moving. I think I have forgotten how to relax. I no longer sit in the sun, I am painting furniture or gardening or playing with the kids.
This weekend has reminded me to stop. Take a breath. Listen to the sounds of me. Talk to a stranger about lipstick colours. Sit at a coffee shop and people watch (something I use to love doing but I think the tables have turned, people watch me now.
Thank you to my loving family for giving me some time to myself. Thank you for letting me relax. I haven’t been truly alone in such a long time, it’s nice to sort through my own thoughts and to slow them down. Thank you for letting me declutter my brain, to relax my shoulders. Thank you for loving me.