When you get married, before you’ve even been married for 24 hours, the first question is, “When are you having kids?” It’s so natural. Everyone you talk to tells you how great it is, how amazing it is. Everyone has an opinion about being a working Mum or a stay at home Mum.
I have been both now. Both are hard, both are a lot of work but at the end of the day I am a Mum, the those people who told me it was the most amazing thing in the world were right. But they didn’t tell me how much I’d cry, or how scared I’d be, that no matter what choice you make, you will question the hell out of it.
Here are a couple things that no one tells you about being a Stay at Home Mum (SAHM).
- It’s lonely. Yes, you are around kids all day, so you’re not physically alone but you don’t have an adult conversation. Even if you line up play dates, it’s not talking about things you ‘want’ to talk about it. It’s a lot of small talk, kids/baby talk and making sure you child doesn’t hit/bite/brake anything/one in the house. You are waiting for that clock to hit 4:30 when your partner walks through that door. You spill your guts about anything you can to try and get an adult conversation.
- Your time isn’t your own. You’re counting down the hours until nap time so that you can have a little time to your self. However, the laundry needs to get switched, the dishes seemed to have reappeared, your toddlers idea of cleaning up the toys is throwing them all in the corner of the room, and you still need to eat lunch. Let’s not think about the yard work that needs to get done. Sometimes I’m selfish and I leave the laundry, I don’t look at the dishes. I sit in the quiet and eat my lunch. If I am lucky I get 45 minutes to do it all.
After nap time, you’ll do everything in your power to exhaust the kids, so that you can get as much time at bedtime to decompress. But now your partner is home, you have a list of things you need to discuss with him about the kids, the house, friends and you also have to fit in a sex life too (I’m not complaining about sex, but sometimes you really do just want to snuggle).
- Good days are great, bad days make you want to run away. The good days are great. It makes you wish you had the capability to capture that moment, put it in a book and then experience it at a later date.
Though the bad days can get pretty bad. No one is listening, the baby is throwing a fit and the toddler is throwing her toys across the room and crying about it. Your husband calls and says he’s going to be late.
- Big feelings. Everything you feel is BIG. It’s intense, it’s overwhelming, its unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. There is no way to prepare for it, you just learn as you go. When your oldest is trying to comfort your youngest with a song and rubbing there head, you will be overwhelmed with joy. But it’s not just the regular joy it Mama Joy!
You can’t know everything about being a Mum before you become a Mum, sadly it’s just not possible. Yes, it’s lonely, your time is not your own, a day can take a turn at any moment and your emotions are indescribably huge. But when your kids hug you, kiss you and tell you they love you, everything is worth it. All the tears, sleepless nights, all the poop, the temper tantrums, they are worth it. Yes, they are worth it.
I love being a Mum and I love being home with my kids. How many times in your life do you get to stay home and watch your kids grow up?